The Life of a Cephalapod
21. I call the Delta home. I love moths, pastel colors, floral prints, sneakers, oversized sweaters, coffee, baking, and much more.
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Post reblogged from Ignore the cow wearing pants in the backround
98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
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Post reblogged from The Dissolving Squonk
A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday
It would be funny if this joke had a punchline
Wooden tit
(Source: facebook.com)
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Post reblogged from [Muffled rap music playing in the distance]
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
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How do you text post “thirst trap” as a male? Do I just make posts like “damn my meat long and thick as fuck, b!”?
“I have a stable job and good credit and I’m not going to leave after I knock you up”
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Post reblogged from young & beautiful
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
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Photoset reblogged from Expression through Art.
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Post reblogged from Ignore the cow wearing pants in the backround
you’re the only one who understands me google
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Post reblogged from Ignore the cow wearing pants in the backround
projects at the end of the school year
(Source: otterboxes)
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Post reblogged from Ignore the cow wearing pants in the backround
*eats all the croutons out of a salad and pushes plate 5 feet away from me*
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Post reblogged from Ignore the cow wearing pants in the backround
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
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Photo reblogged from Weep little lion man.
SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
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Photoset reblogged from Weep little lion man.
